My 15 year old son is learning to drive. I truly have no idea how we got to this point. Seems like just yesterday he was playing with matchbox cars on the carpet and making car sounds with his mouth. And as much as I may have wanted to turn back the clock, we knew it was time to get prepared.
This summer, he sat through a full week of classroom instruction which included some scary videos (I’m just fine with some scare tactics for this particular life lesson!). He experienced a few behind the wheel lessons as well with a good instructor. But the part of learning to drive that I’m sure he has loved the most are the lessons he has received from me while sitting right next to him driving through town. Through all of this, I can say that my son is actually a good driver. But as his mom, sitting over in the passenger’s seat is just not a position I am comfortable in (at least not yet).
When you are in the driver’s seat you have access to the steering wheel so you can determine the direction you want to go. You have access to the gas pedal and the brake so you can decide how fast or slow you want to go and when you want the car to come to a complete stop. Sitting in the driver’s seat puts you in a position of having complete control. And I like that feeling very much.
It is difficult being able to control distances from other cars or curbs or mailboxes, etc. as well as the speed (I’d prefer he drive the slowest speed possible) when I am not in the driver’s seat. I have found myself pushing on an imaginary brake on my side of the car at times as well as holding on to my arm rest really tight (this is when my son begins to roll his eyes). These practice sessions have really not been the best bonding time for me and my son (thankfully, my husband is so much better at this) but we have persevered.
This exercise of learning to let go and begin to trust in my son’s driving abilities has once again brought to light an area of my faith that I struggle with. Letting go. Allowing God take over. In my experience, learning to let go of most anything can be hard. And giving up control (even when it is only perceived control) is just tough. But learning to trust and abide in faith is exactly what we are called to do as follower’s of Christ.
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Not letting go brings its own set of drawbacks. Worry, anxiety, and complete exhaustion are the tendencies I begin to recognize when I have failed to allow Christ to guide my path, neglected to draw close to him through prayer and Bible Study, or just decided out of defiance to go my own direction in my own time. My mistakes and my failures all just seem to pile up on my shoulders. And the overwhelming feeling of chaos comes to the surface. This is not the life Christ desires for us.
Our gracious loving heavenly Father is the source of all wisdom. He is a God of order. He is sovereign. He knows what tomorrow holds for us. And just like we want the very best for our children (even though that sometimes means learning through struggles), He desires for us more than we could ever hope or imagine. Why would we not want to place our trust in Him? Why would we not gladly hand over the steering wheel of our lives to Him? When we place our trust in Christ, scripture tells us that He will keep us in perfect peace. Sounds like the exact opposite of chaos, doesn’t it?
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When my son went for driving lessons that were actually behind the wheel, I learned that the cars they take students out in have an extra brake on the passengers side. And the instructors are equipped to steer the car very well even from the passenger seat. This scenario gives the new driver some control but in a crisis the passenger (instructor) can easily take over. Wish I had one of those cars.
Sometimes I employ that exact technique with Christ. I follow His direction and I seek His guidance but I still hold onto some control and when I think His timing is off (it really never is) or when the plan is not going along the way that I thought it would (His ways are so much better than my ways), I can begin to take back over. All this back and forth and learning and relearning the same mistakes is frustrating and exhausting. I’m certain there are times that He sadly just shakes His head at me (similar to my son’s looks when I’m pushing the imaginary brake).
My prayer is that we finally and completely place our trust in Christ. That we allow Him to lead us through this life. That even when we feel He is moving too fast, too slow, or about to send us on the road less traveled, that we abide in the faith that comes from being a child of God. And while we know that collisions (some major, some minor) may be a part of our journey, He will never leave us. And when we fully place our trust in Him, He will gladly exchange our chaos for His perfect peace.
See you out there on the road! I’ll be the one in the passenger seat sitting next to an excellent driver while learning to let go.
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