A Heart Divided

A Heart Divided

They say people with pets are happier people. Our dog Emma Jane sure has brought joy into my life. And although I may have taught her a few tricks, she has taught me a few things as well. She reminds me that each time I come through the door is cause for a celebration, that sometimes the best course of action is to stop what I’m doing (that seems so important) and just play in the floor, that time spent with her cuddled up for a Sunday nap is time well spent, and that a little love and affection can make any day sweeter. And recently she has caused me to think about something even a little deeper.

Emma

 

A couple of years ago when we moved into a home with a fenced in back yard, we installed an electronic dog door to allow her to go out and come in when she wanted. She wears a collar that the door recognizes and when she stands close, the door will open until it senses that she’s moved away. This has worked great for the most part. But lately, I’ve noticed a peculiar way that she uses the dog door. Rather than going out the door as soon as it goes up, she stays inside and just looks out. This can go on for several minutes. Sometimes she decides to walk on out the door to the outside world and other times she walks away leaving the opportunity behind. I find that she does this more often when the temperature is too hot or too cold outside and whether or not it is raining. She prioritizes her comfort over whatever is on the other side of the door. Sometimes she stands there in this “indecision mode” so long, that the door closes on its own.

Her act of pondering whether to take a step forward, to wait it out, or to just walk away from the opportunity caused me to reflect on my own life and how often I do this exact same thing. There are times when we know God is speaking to our hearts about something, calling out to us to come follow Him. And although we want to be obedient, want to follow Him at every turn, we often stand at the door and consider our own comfort and our own desires. How much do we really trust in Him? Do we struggle with a divided heart?

Earlier this week, I was studying the life of Solomon. He’s a familiar character in the Bible. We know he was at times a great king praying earnestly to God for wisdom in order to better govern his people. We also know that at times he really struggled with disobedience. In fact, he is known as having a divided heart for God. He loved God, recognized His incredible influence in his life, and understood that God wanted nothing less than His very best for him. And yet (probably after standing in the decision doorway too long), he decided to go his own way. Eventually, his disobedience caused his heart to turn away from God completely and his sins caused what was once a great nation to be torn apart.

I believe we can all relate to moments when we have stood in the doorway, pondering whether to go God’s way or our own. His perfect way can at times seem scary, uncomfortable, or inconvenient. That small step out the door can feel more like a giant leap of faith and perhaps we place our comfort above following Christ with our whole hearts. We can also find ourselves standing in that doorway of decision for too long and realize the door has closed. Those opportunities might come up again (because of His amazing grace) or they might not. Like Solomon, we recognize God’s incredible influence in our lives, we know that He wants nothing less than the very best for us (so often that step in His direction is for our own protection), and yet we seem to struggle in the area of complete trust.

Proverbs 3:5-6

We are told to trust in the Lord with all our hearts. Not just a little, not with a divided heart, but with our whole complete hearts. To quit leaning our own understanding (which is so often flawed). And to finally place our full trust in Him! And what is our reward for a life lived this way? We are given the promise that He will direct our paths. And His paths are always perfect!

My prayer is that at every turn life throws our way, that we would follow Christ’s perfect path for our lives, that we would allow Him to reign and rule over our hearts and help us in those times when we just can’t seem to step out of the doorway, and that we would fully trust in His amazing plans to use our lives for His glory.

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